A LIKEABLE CHARACTER:

Never give up… Great things take time… Just be patient…
It has nothing to do with being skilled, gregarious, intelligent, or attractive… Instead, have a simple humble appearance, sincerity, transparency, and understanding in your social side of emotional intelligence. Likeable people are invaluable and unique. They network with ease, promote harmony in the workplace, bring out the best in everyone around them, and generally seem to have the most fun. Add these skills to your repertoire and watch your likeability soar!
 
1. Leave a Strong First Impression:
Did you know that most people decide whether or not they like you within the first seven seconds of meeting you. They then spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction. This may sound terrifying, but by knowing this you can take advantage of it to make huge gains in your likeability. First impressions are tied intimately to positive body language. Strong posture, a firm handshake, smiling, and opening your shoulders to the person you are talking to will help ensure that your first impression is a good one.
 
2. Balance Passion & Fun:
People gravitate toward those who are passionate. It’s easy for passionate people to come across as too serious or uninterested because they tend to get absorbed in their work. Likeable people balance their passion with the ability to have fun. At work they are serious, yet friendly. They still get things done because they are socially effective in short amounts of time and they capitalize on valuable social moments. They minimize small talk and gossip and instead focus on having meaningful interactions with their coworkers. They remember what you said to them yesterday or last week, which shows that you’re just as important to them as their work.
 
3. Be Genuine:
Being genuine and honest is essential to being likeable. No one likes a fake. People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel.
Likeable people know who they are. They are confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin. By concentrating on what drives you and makes you happy as an individual, you become a much more interesting person than if you attempt to win people over by making choices that you think will make them like you.
 
4. Don’t Pass Judgment:
If you want to be likeable you must be open-minded. Being open-minded makes you approachable and interesting to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion and is not willing to listen.
Having an open mind is crucial in the workplace where approachability means access to new ideas and help. To eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes. This doesn’t require you believe what they believe or condone their behavior, it simply means you quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what makes them tick. Only then can you let them be who they are.
 
5. Don’t Seek Attention:
People are averse to those who are desperate for attention. You don’t need to develop a big, extroverted personality to be likeable. Simply being friendly and considerate is all you need to win people over. When you speak in a friendly, confident, and concise manner, you will notice that people are much more attentive and persuadable than if you try to show them you’re important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what or how many people you know.
When you’re being given attention, such as when you’re being recognized for an accomplishment, shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help you get there. This may sound cliché, but if it’s genuine, the fact that you pay attention to others and appreciate their help will show that you’re appreciative and humble.
 
6. Be Consistent:
Few things make you more unlikeable than when you’re all over the place. When people approach you, they like to know whom they’re dealing with and what sort of response they can expect. To be consistent you must be reliable, and you must ensure that even when your mood goes up and down it doesn’t affect how you treat other people.
 
7. Use Positive Body Language:
Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) will draw people to you like ants to a picnic. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that high-EQ people use to draw others in. Positive body language can make all the difference in a conversation.
It’s true that how you say something can be more important than what you say.
 
8. Ask Questions:
The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is they’re so focused on what they’re going to say next or how what the other person is saying is going to affect them that they fail to hear what’s being said. The words come through loud and clear, but the meaning is lost.
A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know you’re listening, and something as simple as a clarification question shows that not only are you listening, you also care about what they’re saying. You’ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.
 
9. Greet People by Name:
Your name is an essential part of your identity, and it feels terrific when people use it. Likeable people make certain they use others’ names every time they see them. You shouldn’t use someone’s name only when you greet him. Research shows that people feel validated when the person they’re speaking with refers to them by name during a conversation.
If you’re great with faces but have trouble with names, have some fun with it and make remembering people’s names a brain exercise. When you meet someone, don’t be afraid to ask her name a second time if you forget it right after you hear it. You’ll need to keep her name handy if you’re going to remember it the next time you see her.
 
10. Smile:
People naturally (and unconsciously) mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. If you want people to like you, smile at them during a conversation and they will unconsciously return the favor and feel good as a result.
 
11. Know When To Open Up:
Be careful to avoid sharing personal problems and confessions too quickly, as this will get you labeled a complainer. Likeable people let the other person guide when it’s the right time for them to open up.
 
12. Know Who To Touch:
When you touch someone during a conversation, you release oxytocin in their brain, a neurotransmitter that makes their brain associate you with trust and a slew of other positive feelings. A simple touch on the shoulder, a hug, or a friendly handshake is all it takes to release oxytocin. Of course, you have to touch the right person in the right way to release oxytocin, as unwanted or inappropriate touching has the opposite effect. Just remember, relationships are built not just from words, but also from general feelings about each other. Touching someone appropriately is a great way to show you care.
 
13. Put Away Your Phone:
Nothing will turn someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When you commit to a conversation, focus all of your energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them.
 
Be Blessed

4 thoughts on “A LIKEABLE CHARACTER:

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  2. WHY I DON’T REACT TO EVERYTHING.

    I’m ‘Slowly’ Learning That I Don’t Have To React To ‘Everything’ That Bothers Me.

    I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to hurt those who hurt me.

    I’m slowly learning that maybe the ‘ultimate’ sign of maturity is walking away instead of getting even.

    I’m slowly learning that the energy it takes to react to every bad thing that happens to me drains me and stops me from seeing the other good side of things in life.

    I’m slowly learning that I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and I won’t be able to get everyone to treat me the way I want to be treated ‘and that’s okay.’

    I’m slowly learning that trying so hard to ‘win’ Everyone is just a ‘waste’ of time and energy and it fills me with ‘nothing’ but emptiness.

    I’m slowly learning that not reacting doesn’t mean I’m okay with things, it just means I’m choosing to ‘rise’ above it.

    I’m choosing to take the ‘lesson’ it has served and learn from it I’m choosing to be ‘the bigger’ person.

    I’m choosing my ‘peace of mind’ because that’s what I ‘truly’ need. I don’t need more drama. I don’t need people making me feel like I’m not good enough. I don’t need fights and arguments and ‘fake’ connections. I’m slowly learning that sometimes ‘not’ saying anything at all says everything.’

    I’m slowly learning that reacting to things that upset me gives someone else power over ‘my’ emotions.

    I can’t control what others do but i can control how i respond, how i handle it, how i perceive it and ‘how much of it’ i want to take personally. I’m slowly learning that most of the time, these situations say nothing about me and a lot about the other person.

    I’m slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything, it won’t make people suddenly love and respect me, it won’t magically change their minds.

    Sometimes it’s better to just let things be, let people go, ‘don’t’ fight for closure, ‘don’t’ ask for explanations, ‘don’t’ chase answers and ‘don’t’ expect people to understand me.

    Enough word for the wise.

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